From the Home Office: Top 10 Outrageous Taxes

As Benjamin Franklin so eloquently put it over 200 years ago “nothing in this world is certain except death and taxes.” This is truer today than ever before. Every year, from the federal government to all 50 states, the tax code becomes increasingly complex with the current tax code reading like hieroglyphs before the discovery of the Rosetta stone. While the taxes of Franklin’s day were certainly unpopular, it is safe to say they were not quite as bizarre as some of the levies in place today. Many of these taxes target specific industries or products—that’s just unfair, unreasonable, and in some cases just plain odd. So, without further ado, the fine folks at FreedomWorks are proud to present to you our top 10 most bizarre taxes currently on the books. And, if there are any that we missed, we’re happy to receive your nominations at: Cleveland@freedomworks.org.

10. The Amusement Tax: It’s safe to say that most people like to kick back and enjoy themselves every once in a while, but much to the chagrin of the masses, many states put a tax on our recreational activities. Ever buy a ticket to see you local pro sports team play? Or purchase tickets to a ‘Hall and Oates’ concert only to find an ambiguous tax show up on your receipt? That small, yet noticeable fee is the amusement tax. The tax, which is in place in most states including Massachusetts and Virginia, is considered a tax on the patrons of places such as ski resorts, craft shows, and golf courses, but in reality is collected from the operators of such places. The tax works like this: the government taxes the owners of places that offer “amusement” and in return those businesses pass the aforementioned taxes on to us. Who ever said the best things in life are free didn’t realize he was breaking the law by not paying a tax on his amusement. Poor sap.

9. Fountain Soda Drink Tax: If you ever find yourself unquenchably thirsty and in the state of Illinois, I encourage you to be sure to purchase a canned or bottled beverage rather than its fountain counterpart. Illinois has on record a tax rate on fountain drinks of 9 percent, as opposed to the standard sales tax of 3 percent. Next time you buy a Pepsi in Chicago think twice before you go for the ‘Big Gulp’ and instead reach for the 12 oz. bottle or else prepare to feel the financial wrath of another outrageous tax that hits mom and pop soda stands.

8. Fur Tax: Moving along briskly we land at number 8. Boy those winters in Minnesota can be cold, but who would have thought that keeping warm would come with an excise tax? Minnesota (always known for its long line of fur-trappers) pay a 6.5 percent tax on the total amount received for the sale, shipping, and finance charges associated with the purchase of a fur. While this price is assumed by the merchant, it can be passed on to the consumer either by adding the estimated price of tax to the fur or, more commonly, it is received as a separate item on the bill. Most other types of clothes are not taxed in Minnesota so I encourage all to purchase the ever popular “Member’s Only” jacket, just beware for you may very well be the last member wearing it.

7. Take-out Tax: Have you ever been in a rush and in need of vital sustenance? Well, if so, chances are you have indulged in the guilty pleasure that is fast food. However, little did you know some areas levy a 0.5 percent tax on all take-out food. Chicago and Washington, D.C. both have enacted a tax on fast food, purportedly to pay for the removal of litter often accrued with the purchase of burgers and dogs. This tax applies to everything take-out, from your morning egg McMuffin to your late night cheese steak. Nothing in a wrapper is free from the wrath of the Take-out Tax. Bon Appetite!

6. Blueberry Tax.: I like Rice Krispies, but more specifically I like Rice Krispies with farm-fresh blueberries on them. However, I try to avoid farm-fresh blueberries from Maine, because the state imposes a tax on the blueberry farmers. The tax is relevant for “anyone who grows, purchases, sells, handles, or processes the fruit in the state” and makes those persons eligible for a ¾ cent per pound tax. Now a tax like that is just not berry nice.

5. Playing Card Tax: If you’re from Alabama, I suggest you take a short drive across state lines if you plan on purchasing any playing cards in the near future. Alabama has in place a 10 cent tax on the sale of all playing cards with 54 cards or less. The only joker’s wild in Alabama are the lawmakers that would enact such a silly tax.

4. Sparkler and Novelties Tax: Remember playing with sparklers when you were a kid? It never seemed like a good idea to hand your innocent child a stick full of spitting fire, but if you’re from West Virginia the joy of fire may come at a premium price. West Virginia imposes a special fee on all businesses selling sparklers and other novelties. On top of the state’s 6 percent sales tax you can expect to pay an addition fee courtesy the state. Call it the Fourth of July tax and enjoy the irony.

3. Jock Tax: Around the country more and more cities and states are starting to administer the so-called Jock Tax, which is not exclusively assessed on Jocks but on performers in general. This tax looks to grab some of the money that the specific performer makes while performing in state. Say, for example, the New Kids on the Block have a reunion tour in Boston (I know, it’s wishful thinking). The money they make while in Boston would be taxed by the state at around 2 percent. This proves extremely costly for professional athletes who play 50 percent of their games in other cities. For instance, New York Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez (who signed a record contract of $252 million) was taxed $9,000 at the all star game in Milwaukee in July. This cross-boarder money grab is a troubling new concept in taxation, and you can bet that consultants and other traveling businesspeople will be next on the target list.

2. Facial Hair Tax: Do you have a goatee? If so I suggest you stay out of the state of Massachusetts, which has a law on the books that makes it illegal to have a goatee without first purchasing a license to do so. A small fee must be paid in order to wear the facial hair in public, and one can be fined if a license is not presented to a law enforcement official upon request. No offense, but anyone that still has a goatee deserves to be taxed or possibly even arrested by the fashion police.

1. The Illegal Drug Tax. This is the moment we have all been waiting for…number one on our countdown.. Do you live in Alabama, North Carolina, or Nevada and possess illicit drugs? If so, shame on you for not purchasing a stamp that registers tax payments on the drugs. In order to pay the aforementioned drug tax, simply go to your Department of Revenue and pay a small fee for a stamp that is to be placed on the container of your drugs (stamp cost is determined by the amount of drugs you have). The stamp serves as evidence that you paid your tax so when you get arrested for possession, you won’t be fined an increased amount based on not paying your drug tax. Oh and there is no need to worry that a Narc will be working behind the counter at your local Revenue Office, as it is illegal for revenue employees to divulge any information about you to the authorities. Never mind the junkies and beatniks that have drugs to be registered; what were the legislators who created this outlandish law on when they enacted it?