Oregon’s Butts, Blogged for You

Oregon’s Butts, Blogged for You
Look who’s hit the blogosphere! That’s right, it’s that smiling, smoldering, recent denizen of the Capitol, Mr. Butts! And somehow, despite a large cone of ash for brains, he’s mastered HTML and the internets well enough to debut his own blog, somewhat more aggressively cited as “tobaccoagainsthealthykids.blogspot.com”.

What’s Mr. Butts got to say? Well as you can imagine, he’s glowing a happy red over recent doings in the Legislature, as Republicans preserved the ability for people to get down with Mr. Butts without worrying about dumb stuff like children’s health:

It’s my job to make sure the Republican leadership holds firm and does not buckle on any future versions of the bill that may come up. Frankly, it hasn’t been a tough sell. I have many friends here in Oregon. I don’t like to brag, but minority leader Wayne Scott and I are closer than Paris and Nicole. In politics, as in life, it’s all about relationships, and in the 2006 election I gave Rep. Scott 49,000 reasons to relate to me.

Also helpful have been the boys over at FreedomWorks/Citizens for a Sound Economy have a surprising amount of influence in this state, possibly because the local Executive Director is the vice-chair of the Republican Party, Russ Walker. I’ve got to say that back in the day when the execs at Tobacco HQ came up with the brainstorm to set up phony grassroots groups to make it seems as if local voters opposed cigarette tax increases, I thought people would see right through it.

And after the truth leaked out, I was sure Freedomworks/Citizens for a Sound Economy would lose all credibility. But lucky for me, not in Oregon!
Indeed! In Oregon we still have the proud tradition of protecting altruistic, non-meddling outfits like Phillip Morris from those mean and nasty children.

Welcome to the family, Mr. Butts! Now that you’re fire-safe, you can come over and pass out on our couch any time…but remember to bring your oxygen tank with you, so we can all get a taste!