The Invasion of the Gorons (Gore ons)

Their History on Planet Earth

It is not at all clear when the first sightings of the Gorons occurred. It surely was sometime after the Roswell Incident of 1947 and all of the fuss over whether UFOs exist or not. Carl Sagan has painted an incredible picture of the challenge of disproving the existence of UFOs (1). Surely the UFO’s must be real. How else could we be surrounded by so many Gorons? Note that the Head Goron (hereinafter referred to as the HG) is sometimes referred to as Prince Albert.

The first sighting was certainly before the release of his manifesto (2) – Earth in the Balance – in 1992, or before their Earthday essay in 1990 (3). In the book the HG could be seen describing what must have been their means of transport to Earth. Note that the HG frequently talks in code. For example he is undoubtedly referring to their spacecraft when he talks, in the following quotation, of clouds …. “On some nights, in high northern latitudes …. you can sometimes see a strange kind of [spacecraft] high in the sky …. shimmering above us with a translucent whiteness, these [spacecraft] seem quite unnatural.”

Most knowledgeable observers now believe the first sighting of Gorons occurred during the Vietnam War, where the HG served as a journalist for the Stars and Stripes. And now he is going after the presidency. His record indicates he is a policy wonk, that is a policy-minded politician, but with a strange streak of extremism (4) in him.

A large number of news reports have been published on the possibility that some members of the space-alien community are resorting to brain implants to help achieve their goals. While there is no evidence of any such implant operations being conducted by the Gorons, this practice cannot be ruled out, particularly when one considers the robot like behavior of many of the members of this movement. Indeed this attribute has often been applied to the HG himself, which is certainly food for thought.

Their Vision

What do the Gorons want? This would include dramatically increased environmental regulations, and just possibly a new Climate Protection Agency. It would also mean no new sports utility vehicles, lots of zero emission vehicles and bicycles, far more mass transportation and the end of urban sprawl. What do the Gorons believe in? Clearly the HG has become famous for his interest in the environment and in global warming. However some of the statements and writings by the HG are most disturbing –

1. Three quotes (2, 5) focus on analogies he uses on the environment.

In the first of these he equates the dangers to the environment today to the dangers of nuclear war. “Nuclear war is an apocalyptic subject, and so is global environmental destruction . . .” The second quote (6) broadens the doomsday view to the ecology. ” . . . evidence of an ecological Kristallnacht is as clear as the sound of glass shattering in Berlin”.

Finally he equates (2, 5) Americans’ use of natural resources with Nazism.

” … the environmental crisis is so serious that I believe our civilization must be considered in some basic way dysfunctional…. In this terrible century … we have witnessed some especially malignant examples of dysfunctional civilization: the totalitarian societies of Nazi Germany under Hitler, … in psychological terms, our rapid and aggressive expansion into what remains of the wildness of the earth represents an effort to plunder from outside civilization what we cannot find inside.”

Can these be precise judgments of the state of the environment after years of the EPA, after years of automobile fuel improvements and after billions of dollars of environmental control investments in our power and manufacturing industries? Can the HG’s comparison of our so-called consumptionism, to the Nazi’s totalitarianism be accurate and fair? I think not.

In the next quote (2, 6) the HG contrasts the richness of nature to the emptiness of industrial civilization. According to the HG we live in an “inauthentic world of our own making”. “We need not suffer the heat or the cold; we need not sow or reap or hunt and gather. We can … light up the darkness, and be entertained in our living room by orchestras and clowns whenever we like.” Further into this quote he observes this false world was created by people to distract people from their psychic pain. Finally he claims that only by somehow awakening from such inauthenticity will the cycle of psychic pain and environmental plunder be broken.

It is not quite clear how the HG, who grew up in a hotel in Washington, earned credentials to decide what is authentic in life and what is not? It begs the question as to what will be done with the inauthentic people if he were elected.

1. Finally, two quotes provide a hint on his modus operandi. The first quote indicates (7) that he has a master plan.

“I honestly and sincerely believe that I know exactly what needs to be done. And I am impatient to do it.”

The second quote is the rather famous one: “There is no controlling legal authority.”

One should look at these as a warning that the HG would run roughshod over any opposition in areas where there is any ambiguity on control. The HG (5) has few gifts in the art of compromise and no discernable interests in opposing arguments. He tends to regard dissenting views as heresy and ascribes evil to antagonists.

As noted above the HG has a streak of extremism (4) in his makeup. He is not happy with our society and equates environmental activists to resistance fighters (6). But does not this group of activists include eco-saboteurs? The HG does not limit his concern to the environment, but declares that we are in a midst of political, informational, inner spiritual and deep philosophical crisis. Surely he believes (6) in his book and all its comparisons of our society with Nazi Germany’s or to the former USSR’s. However, all of the above quotes have earned him the extremist tag.

Nowhere has this been better exposed (8) than by Tony Snow where he contrasts statements by the HG to those of the Unabomber (UB). Snow, and others (9), have noted that the vision advocated by the UB sounds much like that stated in the HG’s 1992 manifesto. The HG distrusts unbridled technology, as does the UB. The HG frets over the fate of this planet and thinks people must embrace revolutionary cures. The difference between the UB and the HG is that the HG wants to achieve this via massive government bureaucracies, while the UB would achieve this through mail bombs. Apparently when the FBI took control of the UB’s cabin they found a copy of the HG’s book, complete with extensive margin notes. It would seem that the truth has come out: the UB, is in reality, another Goron.

Their Chart

Figure 1 is similar to the chart used by the HG in his pitches (2,3) on global warming where he has strived to couple the Earth’s temperature with the atmospheric concentration of carbon dioxide. As evidence he will typically show a graph of temperature and atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration plotted over a span of 160 thousand years (160 KYs). The HG makes the following claims:

1. This chart is the most compelling evidence of a correlation between carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and temperature. Over this era carbon dioxide concentration and temperature have moved in lockstep.

2. Since they have moved in tandem over 160 K years, it would be irresponsible to assume they will not continue to move together in the future.

3. The facts portrayed here are not in dispute.

One must object to the use of the words lockstep and in tandem. These are far too strong for a simple, eye-balled correlation. The implication is also made that change in carbon dioxide concentration precedes change in temperature and hence is the cause for the change in temperature. However it is impossible to tell this from such a busy graph. Indeed one could just as easily claim the reverse correlation was proven by this chart.

One must also object to the HG’s claim that the facts are not in dispute. One point, namely the last point for carbon dioxide, is questionable. In Figure 1, the last point shows a carbon dioxide level at 360 PPM. In contrast, the HG’s manifesto shows this point at 660 PPM, about 300 parts higher. But this last data point is not a fact, but a wild guess for the year 2100. It really does not belong on his graph as it distorts the vertical scale enormously.

Finally note that the time span of 160 KYs is displayed over a space little more than two inches wide in the HG’s book. Data is highly compressed. The basic time unit is ~2500 years per point. Hence a single tic on this graph — 1/32nd of an inch in width — would represent the last 2500 years of history, taking us back to 500 BC. Impact: a single tic on this chart would be used to capture all the climate trends and weather events over 2500 years and average these out to a single point.

Others have also critiqued the HG’s interpretation of this data. For example, Idso (10) reported that the scientists who developed this data, from deep antarctic ice cores, had noted that:

1. In a warming era (in going from cool to warm or glacial to interglacial conditions) changes in carbon dioxide concentration can not be shown to precede changes in temperature.

2. In a cooling era (in going from warm to cool conditions) one can now show temperature change always occurs first, followed by carbon dioxide change.

After studying his record (9) it becomes very clear that the HG “talking about science and technology is like Fidel Castro talking about freedom and democracy – each knows little about what he speaks”.

The forces behind temperature change

How is it that the HG’s most compelling evidence is so readily refuted? Idso’s answer (10) was that the HG’s basic premise is simply invalid: our planet’s temperature is not primarily controlled by carbon dioxide. If a change in atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration is not the cause for a change in temperature, what could be the cause? Two major sources are given as answers to this question.

The answer is found, in part, in three attributes of the Earth’s travels around the sun. These are:

a 100 KY cycle in the orbital eccentricity,

a tilt of the planet with a 41 KY cycle, and

a wobble of the axis with 19-23 KY cycles.

These Earth Motion Anomalies (EMAs) exhibit major variation over the 160 KY period and the changes in these cause major variation in the solar insolation, the energy that reaches the Earth at a particular latitude and season. They were the primary cause of the last ice age.

The EMAs impact our climate on 100 KY and 10 KY time scales and possibly down to 1 KY. They serve to illustrate the wide span of natural climate variation and to help clarify the meaning of the data in Figure 1 that has been repeatedly misrepresented by the HG.

On a much shorter time scale the answer to temperature change is found, in part, in the behavior of our sun. The sun is the source of essentially all our energy. Anything that changes its behavior could affect planet Earth. Since we have seen anomalies, by our planet, lead to climate cycles, we should not be surprised if anomalies by our sun, could lead to other climate cycles.

It is well known that an 11-year sunspot cycle exists, which modestly affects the solar output over this cycle. Gorons have repeatedly argued that this variation in solar output is just too small to have any impact on our climate. However recent data (12) show that galactic cosmic rays, rays that bombard the Earth continuously, are modulated by this solar magnetic cycle. This increases or decreases their assistance in cloud forming activity, in counter synchronization with the solar cycle. These two processes together could be sufficient to explain most of the short-term temperature variation we have seen this century.

Many solar cycles exist. For example, the 80 – 90 year cycle seems clear in the sunspot record. Longer cycles are hinted at, such as sunspot minimas. The Maunder Minimum, over 1645 – 1715 AD, is the best known example. These contributed to the Little Ice Age that impacted Europe dramatically from about 1300 AD to about 1850 AD.


There has been major scientific progress over the past decade in all of the climate sciences. And this has raised the possibility that part, perhaps even all, of any warming we may be seeing, is due to natural forces. Further this science indicates society has the time to pursue a more complete understanding of our climate. Science in this field is still embryonic and much more research is needed to adequately define process mechanisms and to reduce the many areas of uncertainty.

The Gorons argue that the science is done and we know everything we need to know to move ahead into policies, treaties, legislation and regulation. Nothing could be further from the truth. However, one can rest assured that the Gorons will press on regardless of the facts. Perhaps they have a hidden agenda at work here – the Gorons just might want to get society corralled and heading onto the reservation before new scientific findings rule their apocalyptic scenario invalid.

Yes, the Invasion of the Gorons is on in full force on a multiplicity of fronts. Some say this battle on global warming is already lost because the Gorons have infiltrated our society thoroughly. In a recent essay (13), James Henry notes how we have allowed the Left to capture the media, the universities, much of the school system and the entertainment industry. While it may be true that such infiltration has occurred, it is not time to concede victory. This battle is extremely important. If the Gorons can prevail on the global warming issue, with the weakness of their scientific case, one would have to conclude they can prevail anywhere.

One of the assets, in fighting this battle, could be the Internet. This just might prove to be a way around the monopoly position of the mainstream media on what we are allowed to read or see. It would be rather ironic to have this tool be the cause of the downfall of the Gorons with the HG as its self-proclaimed inventor.

Indeed the Gorons may have a critical weakness – their leader. His judgement is seriously flawed by his visions of Armageddon and his agenda. His extreme statements in his manifesto and elsewhere, his rather imperious and autocratic modus operandi including little capability in the art of compromise and finally his rather simplistic views of science and technology, may all come back to haunt him. Somewhat over two hundred years ago America rejected the royal system of kings and queens.

It is not too late for America to also reject Prince Albert and his fellow Gorons.

References and Notes

(1) Sagan, C., The Demon Haunted World – Science as a Candle in the Dark, Ballantine Books, 3-97 (2) Gore, Albert, Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit, Houhton Mifflin Company, New York, NY, 1992 (3) Gore Jr., Al, To Skeptics on Global Warming …, New York Times, 4-22-90 (4) Terzian, P., Bland Ambition, The American Spectator, 8-99, based on the book – Gore: A Political Life by Bob Zelnick, a former ABC News correspondent. Terzian credits Zelnick’s reporting as enabling him to see Gore with some clarity and to help him to penetrate the mystery of this politician (5) See Environmental Scientist Dossier: Albert Gore, Jr., by The National Center for Public Policy Research, version date 3-21-96 (6) Wolfsan, Adam, Apocalypse Gore, Copyright 1999, National Review, 3-8-99, as reprinted with permission on (7) See Newsmakers Albert Gore Jr., ABCNews, 2000, quoting Vanity Fair magazine, 3-88 (8) Snow, T., Unabomber gore’s technology, The Detroit News, 9-21-95 (9) Rubman, G., Hypocrite Gore Should Practice What He Preaches, as reported on,6-7-96 (10) Idso, S., Carbon Dioxide Warming is Good for the Planet, New York Times, 5-7-90 (11) Berger, A., “Introduction to the Milankovitch Theory of Climate”, Review of Geophysics, 26, 11-88 (12) Svensmark, H., and Friis-Christensen, E., Variation of cosmic ray flux and global cloud coverage … a missing link in solar-climate relationships, J. of Atmospheric and Solar-Terrestrial Physics, 59, 1225-1232, 1997 (13) Henry, J., The Left’s War against America, The New Australian, Number 137, 10-(11-17)-99 as reported on