"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there'd be a shortage of sand." — Milton FriedmanAs President Obama took office in 2009, I sold electronic health records, which track a patient’s medical history by computer instead of by hand. For a couple of decades, companies like mine had helped medical providers save money while they improved their patients’ quality of care. Once we installed and launched EHR software at a doctor’s office or hospital, it was a win for everyone.

If you ever want to lose an audience, start talking federalism. Sure, a few of us policy geeks love this foundational principle of American polity but the other 97.4 percent closes the browser window faster than you can say “Alexis de Tocqueville.”

I miss the heady days of January 2012, just 12 months ago. Sure, the economy was lousy, GOP primary debates were tedious, and “We Bought a Zoo” was still in theatres. But there was a faint glimmer of hope on the horizon.Conservatives had made huge gains in 2010, the Supreme Court had a decent chance of tossing out Obamacare, and the presidential approval rating was well under 50 percent. If everything broke just right, the GOP could recapture the White House and start to fix the economic damage.

Anyone who’s met me knows that I’m the humblest guy around. I’m very proud of my humility; it’s one of the many qualities that have made me one of America’s most beloved public figures. (It ain’t bragging if it’s true, y’all.)So, naturally, I was upset to learn that many young Americans don’t value the humility for which I am rightfully celebrated. In fact, some of our young people are — unlike me, of course — complete narcissists. 

Since November's debacle, hundreds of conservative pundits and activists have wrung their hands over the GOP’s messaging problem. Luckily for Republicans my background is in branding, marketing and communications, so let's fix this.In today's mainstream media, conservatives can't catch a break. Epic Democratic catastrophes are ignored while minor Republican faux pas are branded as threats to the republic. Among the chattering classes liberalism has all the power; that won’t be reversed overnight. So conservatives must use liberals' power against them.

When President Obama came to office, he promised that government would solve all kinds of problems. The economy would boom, war would end, and the scourge of crabgrass would never again despoil suburban lawns.Progressive believers never doubted that Washington could merely snap its fingers and the infinitely complex global economy would snap to attention. Even the ocean levels would obey President Canute.

Whenever conservatives talk about lowering taxes, reducing entitlements, or rolling back our titanic government, the intellectual giants of the left deploy an incisive counter-argument: you're mean!But of course. Why, just a fortnight ago, I was strolling to the opera when a lowly chimney sweep spilled soot upon my spats. After making him polish my monocle, I thrashed the young ne’er-do-well roundly with my ivory-handled walking stick. Off to the poorhouse with you!

My daughter spoke Finnish on Christmas Eve.I thought my nine-year-old had just made up some Swedish Chef-style gibberish until she provided a detailed translation. And a few of her phrases sounded a lot like my older Finnish relatives talking.As it turned out, my daughter had discovered Google Translate. She converted a few English sentences to the obscure Nordic language, clicked the “listen” button, and practiced the paragraph repeatedly until she had it memorized.

“Do Something.” “Do Something!” “We have to DO SOMETHING!”Whenever a problem arises, be it an incomprehensible tragedy like Newtown or an imperfection in our economy, those in government and their media enablers are the first to cry, “do something.”

Ask your neighbors and co-workers a simple question: "What are the wealthiest counties in America?" Here are the answers I got:“Is Manhattan a county? That has to be one of the richest.”“Which county has Beverly Hills?”“San Francisco County has to be up there. Silicon Valley too.”